Breaking News: Out of Commission

MINNEAPOLIS - The Here for the Sass team released a press announcement saying that owners and managers Beth Sass and Dawn Sass will both be in Nice for the rest of the week, in preparation for the upcoming draft.

"I don't know if they'll be able to draft me again this year," said pitcher Grant Balfour, "But I'm still in charge of the Sass Rehabilitation Center, so I'm sure I'll see the lovely ladies this year, but hopefully only for vacations. I hope we all survive the season with no injuries or illnesses."

Beth and Dawn should return to the Twin Cities in time for Saturday, March 15th 10:45 AM CDT, draft.

Breaking News:

The Sass have recently learned that their Computer Technician and Network Engineer Emil Brown was non-tendered by his major league baseball team, the Kansas City Royals. The Sass were pleased with the development, hoping that it would allow them to play Emil more frequently in the Batling Fantasy Baseball league, and if that was not possible, he would definitely be available for full-time computer and network work.

"We're hoping this development makes him more available to the Sass--both as a player and with our computers," said owner Beth Sass. "We understand that he wishes to play in the majors, but if he's unable to land an acceptable contract in the majors, we'd be thrilled to have him full-time."

Emil said still planned on retaining his position with the Sass regardless of his ability to land a decent contract in the major leagues.

"The Sass have always treated me well, and I enjoy being with the team. I plan on keeping my capacity as a teammate and computer technician."

Most pleased was relief pitcher Justin Duchschererererer, who has been assisting Emil for the last two seasons with the Sass. "I enjoy working with Emil--he rocks!" gushed Justin, "I like playing with computers, but that man's a genius. There's no way these computers run smoothly without him."