NOTES: Back to the usual

Another week, another loss
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

DETROIT - The Sass reported on Monday afternoon that they posted a 3-10-1 loss to Kristie’s Tygers.

“Well, the win last week really threw off Beth and Dawn, so we decided to act more like our usual selves,” explained second baseman Rickie Weeks. “I spend last week reading about the history of the Sass, which is fascinating stuff. From where this team started in 2006, they’ve come managed something few teams have: starting at the bottom and moving to their ranking that’s in the bottom half.”

Joe Borowski and Jeremy Accardo both worked hard to blow saves and give up runs, but most of the pitching rotation tried to help.

“I just can’t do it,” explained pitcher Jake Peavy. “Dawn has so much faith in me, I just can’t.”

In an odd turn of events from previous years, hitting worked especially hard to suck as much as the pitching.

“Sometimes you’ve gotta sacrifice yourself for the team,” explained utility player Casey Blake. “We’ve got a great example in Joe Mauer right now. That guy can hit, and here he is, trying to fit in with the rest.”

When asked about it, Mauer responded, “This team works hard, and there are lots of guys to inspire.”

The Boy is Back in Town! The Sass were given permission by Major League Baseball earlier this week to allow third baseman Evan Longoria to re-join the Sass after his brief stint with the Sass AAA team, the Vancouver Sarcastics. The Sassians were thrilled to have him back with the team.

“After Spring Training, we really missed him around the clubhouse. He brings a lot of life to this offense, and to the clubhouse,” said outfielder Lastings Milledge. “Besides, now I’m not the youngest kid on the team.”

While the team welcomed him back with open arms, catcher Paul Lo Duca was a little glum. “Now that he’s back, I’m in charge of making sure he’s buckled into his car seat before the team bus leaves. It’s a huge responsibility.”

Concert! As the Sass being their plans of starting a Sass Orchestra, pitcher Fausto Carmona held an impromptu concert in the clubhouse Monday evening after the game, where he played a mashed up version of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata and an small part of Mozart’s Magic Flute.

Coming up: All members of the Sass and their front office are reminded to see Fausto if they’d like to join the Sass Orchestra. Lessons will be given throughout May, and practices will intensify in June, for a series of Sunday night concerts starting after the All-Star Break.