Special Report: Challenge Time

Here for the Sass Challenges Waukesha Nosaurs
December 4, 2006|11:33 a.m.

NAP - The Here for the Sass fantasy football team noted that it was facing their rivals, the Waukesha Nosaurs. As the Sass have yet to win a single game against the the Nosaurs, and Sass Heckler E is getting impatient, the Sass have resorted to the only way they know how to win: A Trivial Pursuit challenge.

"I originally suggested Monopoly," said Sassian Heath "Henry" Miller, "But the looks on the faces of the baseball team was a total fear, and sideways glances at Beth and Dawn showed complete hatred. If looks could kill, you'd be planning my funeral right now."

Henry had not actually been with the Sass this summer, when, during the All-Star Break, the Baseball Sassians held a team-wide Monopoly competition. They convinced Beth and Dawn to join, and while both ladies tried valiantly to lose the first round, they ended up facing each other in the championship game. Both hate Monopoly, and banned it from the clubhouse.

"Those were horrible days," said Sassian Aaron Harang, "I think Dawn was declared the winner in the final game, but I don't remember it ever finishing."

It was reported that Sassian Grant Balfour, still at the Sass Rehabilitation Facility in Nice had suggested a nice, friendly game of Chutes and Ladders. Several Sassians agreed with the recommendation, but the football players, who will be participating in this competition vetoed that game, as the potential for injury was entirely too high.

"Besides, we're a very well-rounded group. We can take them on," said quarterback Chad Pennington. "Luis Castillo is in charge of sports--I swear that man is a walking encyclopedia of sports. There's nothing past, present, or future, that that man doesn't know about sports. He has trouble tying his own shoes, but he can name the MVP in all sports since 1920."

Beth said that anyone's ability to tie their own shoes should not come into play when discussing Trivial Pursuit. Several Sassians noted that Beth was not wearing shoes that tied.

There have been no reports as to whether the Waukesha Nosaurs have accepted the challenge.

NAP = Non-Associated Press. It's early. Give me credit.