Notes: New Ice Cream Announced

Sass follow major league trends
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

DETROIT -- Clubhouse manager Rach announced Wednesday night that the Here for the Sass team will be offering four speciality ice cream flavors starting Thursday.

"MLB teams have their own ice cream flavors, so we decided we'd bring it over to the BFL. I think, though, that our ice cream will be much more visible in the freezers at the grocery store, as all four containers will feature the Sass pink and purple," Rach said.

The four flavors are: Sassy Sorbet, Ghetto Cub Caramel, Pancake Cake, and DL Vanilla.

The Sass team had an opportunity to taste the different flavors Wednesday before the game.

"Pancake Cake is the absolute best," pitcher Aaron Harang declared.

Pitcher Aaron Cook disagreed, and said that you couldn't beat Sassy Sorbet. "The flavor is just delightful--not over-powering, nor is it bland."

The Sass players also had a one-time opportunity to taste DL Vanilla, which will only be available in Nice. When Matt Guerrier said that he liked the plain vanilla flavoring the best of the choices, Beth glanced at him nervously. "Matt, don't get *any* ideas." The Sass players did say that it was the best plain vanilla ice cream they had ever tasted. Beth admitted that DL Vanilla might play a small role in the amount of trips she'll take to Nice this year, and Dawn's reluctance to come home.

The Sass flavors will be available at your local Cub, although possibly not all four flavors. Ghetto Cub will offer all three local flavors, and there's a free balloon with purchase. Sass Stadium will also serve all three local flavors at any of the ice cream concession stands. DL Vanilla, of course, is only available at the Sass rehab facility in Nice.

Scoooore! There was cautious celebrating in the Sass clubhouse again on Wednesday, when it was announced the Sass still held a minor lead over Mmmm...Guiness, 7-4. The Sass managed to take the lead in home runs, thank in part to solo shots by Jermaine Dye and Placido Polanco. Placido, however, was reprimanded for his home run, which was hit off of Twins pitcher Bradke, who is a pitching boyfriend of Beth.

"I apologized, but somehow that wasn't enough. I totally have to clean the shoes of the players this week. It sucks, but I know I deserve it. I don't know what I was thinking," Placido said. An apology letter was sent to Bradke, who accepted it with grace.

No management: The Sass have let their team go to Milwaukee alone this weekend, as neither Beth nor Dawn was available to join the team.

Beth sent Dawn an e-mail to Nice on Wednesday saying that her managing the team was going so sadly--often the bench players were hitting better than the regulars. Her lectures seemed unheeded, despite the current lead the Sass have.

"All I got was an auto-response from Dawn," Beth said, sadly.

Beth reported that she and Dawn will be able to manage the team from afar, communicating via "telephone, e-mail, instant messaging, text messaging, and just yelling really, really loudly." They are sad about the missed opportunity, but are unable to make the trip. Beth expects them to play like they've been taught.

Getting better all the time! Sass outfielder Rocco Baldelli was told he could either continue playing rehab games in Nice, or he could join the Sass AAA team, the Vancouver Sarcastics. He has elected to stay in Nice, to enjoy his time with Dawn, and the close friends he's made there in the past two months.

"The rehab games are just like AAA, so I'm good," Rocco said, "And, quite frankly, Grant [Balfour] and I have been hanging out for a long time. I'm hoping he's going to join the Sass not too long after I do, but so far there's no time table for his return. I'm not going to cut our time short. Besides, one of us needs to take the lead in this Chutes and Ladders competition!"

Sass pitcher Julio Mateo is slated to return to the Sass soon, too, and there's the possibility that Justin Duchschererer could return not long after, as well.

"That will only leave me and Grant," Sass pitcher Tomo Ohka said, sadly. "We'll miss them. But that means we'll get to spend more time with Dawn, so it works out."