Press Release

The Here for the Sass team has announced that pitcher Kyle Lohse, who recently had been on the team solely to keep the grass in the outfield of Sass Stadium mowed, has been sent down to the Vancouver Sarcastics. The outfield grass there has been getting long recently, and they need some extra help maintaining the field.

"His pitching was okay," owner Beth said, "It's just that too many times, his evil cousin Lyle would kidnap Kyle--or any other pitcher on our staff--and take the mound. This move was really in protection of our entire starting rotation. Watching Lyle pitch had caused great stress to not only our starters, but our relievers were feeling tense, too."

The Sass had already sent reliever Julio Mateo to the DL to protect him from Lyle's vicious attacks, and hope to call him back up in a day or two to take Kyle's spot on the roster. Dawn reported from the Sass rehabilitation facitily in Nice that Julio was quite relieved to hear the news, and the constant shaking seemed to diminish immediately.