Week Five: Summary of Series

Sass on way to being Tampa Bay Devil Rays of the BFL
Slumps in clutch hitting seem to be key
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

Yet again, the Sass lost. This time, they lost in a heartbreaker of 9-2-1. Their only points were in saves and home runs, while they tied in the stolen bases category.

“That is my favorite thing EVER,” Beth said, laughing at the report, “We don’t even have a real closer. Ambiorix [Burgos] is only closing because Mike MacD-something was out injured, and Justin [Duchschererererer] is only closing because Huston Street was out injured. As for stolen bases, that’s Jermaine [Dye]’s and Rocco [Baldelli]’s responsibility, and Rocco’s on the DL, and Jermaine was on the bench injured much of last week! Home runs, okay. We do have a shot at that every week.”

The leaders in hitting were: Runs, Juan Encarnacion, Edwin Encarnacion, and Adam Dunn (4); home runs, Adam (3); RBI, Adam (7); Stolen bases, Carlos Guillen (3); walks, Frank Catalanotto (5), and batting average, Edwin (.320).

“Beth and Dawn yelled at me for stealing two bases against the Twins,” Carlos G. said, “But look what it got them? A tie in that one!” He paused for a minute, “Not that I didn’t deserve being yelled at. That was totally inconsiderate of me.”

The final scores were: Runs, 22-35; home runs, 9-6; RBI, 23-28; stolen bases, 3-3; walks, 17-32; and batting average, .246-.259.

“We were that close in RBIs, but that far in runs scored? The Mockball team must rock at run-scoring double-plays. That’s actually pretty impressive, when you think about it,” said Sass second baseman, Placido Polanco, who was also out all weekend.

Meanwhile, the pitching had nothing to brag about. They had some outstanding performances, but the week ended with Kristin Benson’s emotional loss on Sunday.

“I don’t want to talk about the pitching. I hardly remember it,” Benson said, “I was a bit emotional that night because I had seen a child injured on my way to the game. I wish they would allow me to make calls from the dugout. I could’ve found out earlier that young Ben was okay and would’ve pitched much better.”

Beth and Dawn were quick to point out that while the BFL rules might insist on no telephone calls from the dugout, they weren’t about to enforce it.

“It’s not as if we haven’t broken SBGF’s rules before,” Dawn said, “Or wouldn’t enjoy doing it again.”

For the relievers’ leaders, Ambiorix had 2 saves and 4 strikes-outs, while Duchschererer had the lone hold. Brandon Medders and Matt Guerrier both had perfect 0.00 ERAs, while Duchschererererer had the lowest WHIP of 1.00.

“Ambiorix and I rock the bullpen, with two leads total. While, I guess technically Matt rocks the bullpen, because he has the guitar out there. Whatever,” Duchscherererer said.

Among the starters, the leaders were: wins: Kristin, Aaron Cook, Brad Halsey, and R. Johnson (1); strike-outs, Brad (6); and ERA and WHIP, Tomo Ohka (in his last start prior to being put on the DL) at 0.00 and 0.80, respectively.

“Excellent week, really. I don’t like this injured part, but I really do enjoy knowing that I was able to help my team, at least a little bit. And I really can’t complain about the DL. The Sass rehabilitation facility here in Nice is beautiful, and I’ve never met a better cook than Baldelli,” Tomo said, in a phone interview.

The final scores in pitching were: wins, 4-5; saves, 3-1; strike-outs, 33-45; holds 1-2; ERA, 3.64-2.18; and WHIP, 1.35-1.00.

“You mean if I had won, we would’ve been much better off in the end?” Kristin said. “I wish I had called to check on Ben earlier.”

The Sass, with a 16-42-2 record, do not really look forward to facing neutrino boi and the nuet team this week, who have a record of 36-20-4.

“Not that we feel we’re going to lose,” Beth explained, “But more that we just don’t want to face him. And, well, Loaiza, who was supposed to be ours instead of Johnson, is on the DL, so we won’t get to see our guy. We really liked chatting with him during the trade talks that SBGF ultimately vetoed, so we were looking forward to actually meeting him.”