Notes: Dealing with jealousy

Mockball competition is mostly friendly, but jealousy exists
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

MINNEAPOLIS -- Sass catcher A. Pierzynski and Sass shortstop Little Nicky Punto have found this week to be quite different from the normal life of the Sass team. As the official ex-boyfriend and official boyfriend of Dawn, both men are used to her attention. With the coming of the Mockball Madness team, particularly their owner/manager, Nick, Dawn gives significantly less attention to her Sass boyfriends.

“I’m the official ‘bit on the side’ of Dawn. It’s something you have to learn to accept. I know I take second place to A.J. [Pierzynski] and LNP [Punto]. I know I’ll never be first place in her heart. I think A.J. and Punto need to learn that one, too. We’re ballplayers and Nick’s a real person,” Sass pitcher M. Guerrier commented.

While Pierzynski pointed out that Guerrier knows he has Beth’s devoted attention, Guerrier was quick to point out that whenever Sass pitcher G. Balfour, currently on the DL, is around, he moves down with her, too. Guerrier is also less likely to notice the lack of attention from Dawn simply due to the presence of Mockball pitcher B. Arroyo, as the two men are spending time together trying to put together an album.

Pierzynski did admit that having less time with Dawn meant he got to spend more time with his infant daughter and son--and more time with former Twin teammate and Sass first baseman D. Mientkiewiciz. Mientkiewicz and Pierzynski are also enjoying spending time with former Twin teammate and Mockball relief pitcher J. Rincon.

"Besides, it's hard to be jealous of Nick. He's just an awesome guy," Punto admitted.

Timely hitting? Nick has said that Mockball will be holding batting practice Wednesday morning, but that the Sass were welcome to join. While the Sass are leading the Mockball team in batting average and home runs, they’re currently behind in ever other category.

“Yeah, we’ll be heading out there,” Sass second baseman P. Polanco said, “First, if we didn’t, it would totally cut down on the amount of time we got to spend with the Mockball guys, and they rock. Secondly, our hitting in clutch situations has sucked. How can we have such a high batting average and still not be scoring runs or RBIs or even walking? It’s madness.”

Sass reliever B. Medders was quick to point out that the other team was Madness, not the Sass.

Sass pitchers C. Silva and K. Lohse have volunteered their services as pitchers for batting practice. While the offer was accepted by Nick and approved by Beth and Dawn, there was much weeping in the manager’s office by the ladies.

Johnson throws a tantrum, Part XXIV: Realizing that he wouldn’t be pitching for another whole day, Sass pitcher R. Johnson was irate when he still had to take part in pre-game activities all week.

“This is an outrage. I need to rest up for my next start. I shouldn’t have to run sprints or lift weights. And what really annoys me is that I’m a pitcher. I play the game on my own, and yet I have to take part in team-building exercises. What good does that do me?” Johnson said.

Beth and Dawn had no official responses when the press confronted them with this latest whine, but Beth was heard muttering to Dawn as they walked away, “I’m going to drop that guy off in the middle of a jungle someday.”

Team-building: On the recommendation of Sass photographer Bobbi, the Sass team had a team-building exercise involving coloring pictures of each other. The Mockball team joined in the fun. The players sat around the tables in numerical order, with just the minor tweaking for the doubled numbers.

Polanco’s art talent could have put him in first place, but he chose instead to color his picture of Sass second baseman M. Grudzielanek entirely with his left hand.

“I’m not so coordinated left-handed,” Polanco said, laughing.

Crayola donated 50 boxes of crayons for the occasion. Sass outfielder R. Johnson has volunteered to take the used boxes over to the local elementary school where he volunteers during his down-time.

Oh, yes, we’re playing a game: The Sass were unmoved by the fact that they were currently losing to the Mockball team 3-7.

“Our ERA went up a bit because we had a relief pitcher filling in for a starter. Halsey’s usually been used in relief this year, but when we called him up to do some starting stints, it’s a bit more than he’s used to. Our ERA still isn’t that bad,” Sass pitcher K. Lohse said.

Coming up: The Sass, to give the Mockball team a chance, have decided not to start any of their pitchers tonight. Only the whims of the world will decide whether they send a relief pitcher in. Instead, Sass outfielder R. Johnson will take the mound, as his platoon partner F. Catalanotto will get the start in the outfield.