Nick beats R. Johnson

By Nick / Mockball Madness Owner

The 2005 version of Sass pitcher R. Johnson was infuriated on Thursday evening after a 2-1 loss to the Twins in MVP Baseball 2005.

"What's up with my team's ass-bats?" he snarled. Indeed, the Twins'
Johan Santana, under the control of owner Nick, made the Yankee batters look like fools. Blah blah blah Derek Jeter, a teammate of Johnson's before he joined Sass, went 0-for-4 with three strikeouts. More telling, though, was the Twins' ability to hit rockets off of Johnson.

"We could have easily scored four or five runs off the 'great' R.
Johnson," Nick said. The Twins smashed several hard line drives right at people. One of their best scoring chances was dashed when Nick put on a hit and run with Leewwwww Ford at first and Beth's boyfriend DJ Cuddles at the plate. DJ smoked a ball up the middle that was caught by Mr. Blah only because he was coming to cover second on the steal attempt. Ford was 4-for-4 on the night, and Cuddles later smashed a double off the baggie in right field, just missing an opposite-field homerun.

"In the end, El Presidente just pitched a lot better than R. Johnson," Nick concluded.

R. Johnson disagreed. "I am clearly the best pitcher in the history of baseball, with the possible exception of E. Loaiza," he whined. "And how am I supposed to start on Friday if I just started on Thursday? Oh, wait, that was the 2005 version of me. All this time travel... does this mean I was never born? colonconfusedcolon I'm going to report this to SBGF!"