Notes: Pranks are nothing but air

Mackowiak has trouble cleaning out his locker
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

KANSAS CITY -- Sass pitcher C. Silva has long been known as a prankster, so as a final farewell gift to departing Sass utility player R. Mackowiak, he gave a final gift. However, as Silva’s final gift was 100 balloons, all stuffed in Mackwiak’s locker, it really was a final gift.

“It’s easier to pop balloons that are filled full,” Silva said, “So I made sure that they weren’t fully inflated--the rubber stretches, and it’s not easy to pop them!”

Mackowiak said that further problems were caused when Lohse, Silva, and Guerrier all were all distracting him and re-filling his locker as fast as he could empty it. “Those Twins players--you just never dare turn your back. They’re always thinking of something!” Mackowiak told the press, not noticing that Silva was adding rocks to his suitcase.

Beth and Dawn both expressed a desire to see Mackwiak come back and assist in coaching if his new team did not work out for him.

Beating up the commissioner: When the owner of the Mmmm... Guinness team offered a trade to the Sass Team, of Little Nicky Punto for Mackowiak, Dawn and Beth were ready for immediate acceptance. Unfortunately, any trades in the BBL must go through an approval process from the commissioner. In the past, SBGF has denied the Sass a major trade. Naturally, Beth was quite surprised at how quickly SBGF approved the Mackowiak-Punto trade.

"I may have threatened to fly out to NYC and kick him if he didn't," is all Dawn would say.

It was also noted that immediately after the trade was submitted to SBGF for approval, Dawn and outfielder J. Encarnacion were missing for seven hours--the exact amount of time it would take to get to the airport, fly to NYC, beat up SBGF, and fly back. However, there has been no investigation by the rest of the Sass staff.

"I'm sure she wouldn't actually do that," Beth said, with a forced straight face. "I'm sure that the entire Sass team wouldn't not commend her for that behavior, either."

The Sass team welcomed Punto with open arms and lots of balloons from Ghetto Cub. Ghetto Cub mentioned briefly that they'd never known they'd export so many balloons until the Sass team started celebrating.

Future troubles? There was some definite suspicious eyeing going on between Sass catcher A. Pierzynski and Punto.

Pierkzynski is Dawn's ex-boyfriend, while Punto is her current boyfriend. Punto has long known about Pierzynski, and said he accepted their relationship. However, he's always been a little bit wary about Pierzynski being on Dawn's team.

"I'm kinda glad my manager was willing to make this trade. I'm just so much happier close to Dawn so I don't have to be so far away letting my imagination get the better of me," Punto said, with a happy smile on his face.

Johnson throws a tantrum, Part XIX: Sass pitcher R. Johnson was irate on Wednesday evening as the chair in front of his locker was not perfectly balanced.

"This chair wobbles! I will never be able to sit here comfortably and admire all of my baseball cards from this seat. I demand a new seat," Johnson bellowed.

Clubhouse manager Rach noted that the wobble was only slightly perceptible. "I'm not even sure if the princess from the Princess and the Pea would notice it," she said in disgust.

Punto leaned over to relief pitcher M. Guerrier and asked, "Is Johnson always like this?" Guerrier confirmed but said that Punto would get used to it--he should just ignore it.

Today’s game: Trailing the Baja Manitoba team 4-7, the Sass are going to take another day to rest. K. Benson will get the start, but they will not have a catcher or third baseman (although Punto, who will start at short, can also fill in at third).

“We’re giving many of our bench players a chance to play. E-mail Brown, Mark Grudzielanek, Little Nicky Punto--all those guys are fine players, but we just don’t have enough places in the line-up to play them as often as we’d like,” Beth said. All three will be in today’s line-up.