Notes: No Saturday night party

Medders holds true to Sass pitching problems
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

CHICAGO -- Beth and Dawn had to quickly remove all party decorations before the end of Saturday night's game. They had decorated the entire locker room to celebrate a historical night, but things fell apart late that evening.

"We were coming so close to celebrating a night without craptastic pitching," Beth said, "But Medders came in to pitch. He managed to pitch only 2/3rds of an inning, giving up one hit, one walk, and one run. That's not a pretty ERA or WHIP."

Reliever J. Mateo also pitched yesterday. However, since he went 2 full innings, giving up only 1 run, 4 hits and 1 walk, that actually would've qualified as a very good outing, at least compared to the rest of the Sass team this week. In fact, he also managed to get a "Hold" for his outing, which was not enough to have the full celebration, but it was enough for the champagne to be served. Although Beth and Dawn have fully supported the pitching competing in a "Who can do worse" contest, they admitted they were weary of it.

"There are only so many ways to suck," Dawn said, "And it would be really nice to have one night of not watching them pitch like crap."

Beth was watching the games and stats with high hopes, knowing that the Sass team had no starters, and many of the relievers had worked yesterday.

"Pretty much, it came down to the fact that Medders was the only guy with a chance. We have high hopes for the guy, so I'll admit to some unwarranted optimism," Beth admitted to the press.

Medders, on the other hand, was quite pleased with his debut performance.

"It's a lot of pressure to join a team in this situation," he said, "I'm feeling pressure to perform well for Beth and Dawn, but then there's the entire deal of wanting to compete with my fellow pitchers. I finally decided it was in my best interest to not show them up."

However, despite their outings, the Sass team ERA remained before 10 for the second days running.

Scoooooore The Sass Team managed to pull ahead in batting average yesterday, so the current standings against the Assassins is 1-11. Leading the way was catcher A. Pierzynksi, who went 3-for-4 yesterday, outfielder R. Johnson who went 2-for3, and outfielder J. Dye, who went 3-for-5.

"When I checked the standings against the Assassins this morning, I almost had a heart attack," Beth said, in amazement.

Dawn agreed, "I think someone should do the math. I know our hitting hasn't sucked as much as our pitching, but that's a little suspect."

Johnson throws a tantrum, Part XI Sass pitcher R. Johnson was very upset last Tuesday night because Sass outfielder J. Encarnacion had more pairs of shoes in his locker.

"I should have the most pairs of shoes! I should have more pairs of shoes than even Dawn has! It is an outrage that JEn brought in another pair of shoes, so he has more than me. I think he should have told me, so I could bring in another pair!"

Dawn and Encarnacion both got up early on Saturday to check out the shoe shopping in Chicago, where the Sass team is on their latest road trip, and Encarnacion had just picked up two new pairs of shoes. Encarnacion admitted he was unaware of how many shoes he had in his locker, as well as being unaware of how many pairs of shoes Johnson had.

"Man, I just bring in the shoes I want to wear--the ones that go best with whatever outfit I'm planning on wearing out of the stadium. When we're on the road, it's not unusual for me to carry an entire suitcase entirely for my shoes--even on the tree-day road trips, and this road trip is ten days."

Laughter in the dugout: During the game Saturday night, Beth was heard saying, "Someday I want to know as much about baseball as SBGF." The Sass team had to take a ten minute break in the game to recover their breath from the laughter sustained from the comment; cleaning crews will be needed, as some members of the Sass were drinking and eating when Beth muttered here statement. Play continued, although The Assassins were seen looking very jealous of the camaraderie and laugher seen in the Sass dugout.

"You just never know what's going to come out of Beth's or Dawn's mouths," Sass outfielder R. Johnson said, "But you can depend on it being sarcastic and funny. We love it when they show up in the dugout."

One of SBGF's commentaries tonight was when he took the opportunity to explain how the Minnesota Twins choosing J. Mauer was not a no-brainer, because of "[the Cubs' M.] Prior and [the Rangers' M.] Texiera". Both Beth and Dawn admitted that had they not been laughing so hard, they might have mentioned to SBGF that the players' name was spelled Teixeira.

Coming up: Today, again both Silva and Johnson are expected to take the mound. It's uncertain which relief pitchers are available, as Sass photographer Bobbi and Clubhouse Manager Rach were still giving them massages when this article went to press. It's assumed J. Duchscherererer and J. Mateo will be available, but uncertain whether or not they'll be used.