Notes: Public apology to Sass Team

Umpire publicly admits mistakes
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

MINNEAPOLIS -- The Here for the Sass team was pleasantly stunned late Tuesday night when that night’s home plate umpire, J. Meals walked into the clubhouse and apologized.

“When I ejected Silva from the game last night, it was because I really wanted to eject myself. I made too many bad calls while he was pitching, particularly in the ninth inning. I looked at the video from the ninth and I’m actually impressed that Silva did not get more upset than he did--I know I would’ve,” Meals said to the team.

Beyond not calling a third strike to end the top of the inning, Meals also admitted that he changed his strike zone for the two teams. “I know I called [Minnesota Twins catcher Joe] Mauer out on a called third strike. I just started using [Twins center fielder Torii] Hunter’s strike zone on Mauer. I forgot that Hunter occasionally swings at pick-off throws, so he’s not a very good model of the team’s usual strike zone.”

As Meals left, he looked around at all the pink and purple, shook his head, and started to say something before thinking better of it.

“I was going to comment on all the pink and purple, but I then realized Kristin Benson was on the team, and that really explained things to me,” Meals said.

Now if only Commissioner SBGF, who would not let the Sass team trade pitcher R. Johnson for E. Loaiza would apologize, that would release a lot of the team's anger. Unfortunately, the ego of the Commissioner no doubt will not allow him to apologize. Before the Sass management could even speak to him, he had contacted them saying, "Not one word."

Johnson throws a tantrum, Part XII: Sass pitcher R. Johnson was very upset after Tuesday’s game. He felt that the apology to Silva was unnecessary, as Silva only had 1 walk in 8 2/3 innings, while Johnson had 2 walks in 3 1/3 innings.

“Obviously, the umpire totally messed up his strike zone. If I would’ve had a normal strike zone, there’s no way they would’ve gotten as many hits,” Johnson said.

The entire clubhouse bit their tongues to refrain from reminding Johnson that, as a Yankee, he already had a larger strike zone than most.

A win? Seriously? Sass management was very surprised on Wednesday morning to find out that they had a win. With their two starters--Silva and Johnson--having such poor showings on Tuesday, they assumed that it was a lost cause.

“I should’ve known [Sass reliever J.] Duchschererererer would come through for me,” Beth said, fondly, “With a last name like that, how could he fail us?”

Duchscherererer’s win is the only win the Sass team has this week.

“He totally is responsible for our only point in our 10-1 loss,.” Dawn said.

Relief for down moods: Sass pitcher T. Ohka pulled out his collection of stage productions of Greek Tragedies Tuesday after the game. The entire team sat and watched six of them before leaving.

“Man, I’ve never watched any of those before,” Sass second baseman M. Grudzielanek said, “But they’re really the precursors to today’s soap operas, so it was really cool to see them. They fit the mood of the clubhouse completely.”

Beth and Dawn did not join the team. Reportedly, they said they were going to go home to drown their sorrows and plot death against the commissioner, but there was no confirmation of that report.

“I’m kinda thinking that we should call somebody,” Sass pitcher K. Lohse said, concerned, “Beth was looking pretty upset, and I’m afraid she might do something we’d all regret.”