Notes: Home again

Long road trip wears on Sass
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

MINNEAPOLIS - After a long week on the road, the Sass team was looking forward to coming home and sleeping in their adopted home of Minnesota. Both Beth and Dawn live in the Twin Cities area, and so the Sass stadium was built there specially for them. The team had a long week, playing on the road in both Kansas City and Detroit against the Baja Manitoba team, where they ultimately lost 7-5. Baja Manitoba manager frightwig was disappointed in his team’s performance, particularly their hitting over the weekend.

“Not that I feel like I was owed a walkover win; I just hate to see my team drop two points on the last day of the week,” frightwig said to the press.

Beth admitted to being quite hurt by this statement. “I think fright simply looked at last week’s score against The Assassins, and assumed that if the Assassins could beat us to handily, we must be a horrible team. I think he completely missed our pitching melt-down last week--and didn’t notice how close we were in so many batting categories. Just because we’re sentimental females does not mean we’re not fielding the best team we know how.”

Injuries abound! Sass DLers R. Baldelli and G. Balfour, after losing Medders last week, have gained a new competitor to their daily Chutes and Ladders game. Sass relief pitcher J. Mateo was placed on the 15-day DL last night. He apparently has been bothered by his shoulder since Spring Training, but finally mentioned it to the Sass staff yesterday.

“Well, he spent almost his entire off-season in front of his computer checking the stock market,” Beth said. “Right now we’re not sure if his injury is from pitching after not working out enough, or repetitive stress from using the mouse.”

The Sass have called up left-handed relief pitcher B. Halsey to fill in for the time being.

Outfielder J. Dye will need to be evaluated Monday morning at Sass Hospital in Minneapolis. He left the game early on Sunday due to tightness in his calf muscle, which has been attributed to his awkward sitting position while watching Gladiator in his hotel room Saturday night.. He is expected to play tonight, although the penciled line-up toady has him on the bench.

Sass utility player Little Nicky Punto is currently unavailable to play due to a sore grain. He is expected back within the next day or two, but trainers refuse to make a definite statement on his condition.

“I hope no one else gets hurt, but it’s fun having new people to cook for!” Baldelli said, upon hearing the news of the newest DL member, and the possible future ones.

Balfour had no comment.

Johnson throws a tantrum, Part XXII: Sass pitcher R. Johnson was irate on Sunday evening as the press converged around Sass pitcher K. Lohse’s locker.

“I’m the strike-out pitcher here, and they’re making a huge deal out of his meager strike-out total. It’s unfair that he won this week! He had two starts, and I only had one!” Johnson protested.

Lohse did indeed have two starts to Johnson’s one, but recorded three times as many strike-outs--and in his second outing, he only had one strike-out. Johnson still claimed that it was unfair, and had he been allowed to start on Friday, rather than Saturday, he would’ve faired much better.

“Let’s get this straight. The only reason Johnson did so poorly is because he sucks,” Dawn said, disgustedly.

Coming up: This week, the Sass face their favorite team in the BFL (formerly BBL): Mockball Madness. Coming with them as a special treat is former Sass pitcher B. Looper. Tonight, Sass pitcher T. Ohka will take the mound. Reports are unclear whether or not Dye will be available for the game.