Notes: Who are these guys?!

Managers confused at players
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

ARLINGTON -- It seems the Sass were just waiting for pitcher R. Johnson to leave. Celebrating Aaron Harang's birthday yesterday, the team gave him the birthday present of a high-scoring game. The Sass, not exactly known for being power hitters--or for hitting much at all--managed to shock themselves by pulling off an amazing 12/31 night at the plate--a .387 batting average. They managed to score 8 runs, with 7 RBIs and 6 walks.

"Wow. I've never seen a team come out to hit like that. We've got Carlos G. going out there and hitting a bases-clearing double, and Cuddyer himself hitting 3 doubles. Amazing stuff. I can't wait to do my part in pitching for this team!" Harang said, enthusiastically.

Pitcher Carlos Silva, tonight's starter, only made it 6 innings with 4 earned runs (5 total) on 11 hits. Medders came in for relief and pitched 1 inning, with a hit and a walk, but no runs. Carlos S. had 1 strike-out, and Medders had 2. The ERA of 5.14, and the 1.86 WHIP were not pretty, but the win was still on the record books, and that's what mattered in the end.

The Sass, however, managed to drop a point to neut, and are currently down 5-4.

“We just need to keep hitting, and our pitching will come through,” Dawn said.

Boyfriends in the clubhouse: The Sass team has always known that they take second place to the Twins when it comes to manager support. Now that both Sass Boyfriends are also Sassians, it adds a new dimension.

“Y’know, we used to think it was bad when the Twins topped our performance,” relief pitcher Justin Duchscherererer said, “Beth and Dawn would so totally put us in second place. Now we have Little Nicky [Punto] and Michael [Cuddyer] in the dugout, and it just makes things a bit more interesting.”

Both Little Nicky and Michael are engaged, but have confirmed that their fiancés are aware of them being boyfriends of Beth and Dawn.

“Oh, she found it a little weird to be talking about her fiancée’s girlfriend, but now it’s natural and she doesn’t think about it. It does make things a little awkward when she says it off-handedly to someone who doesn't understand the situation, though,” Little Nicky said about his fiancé.

Beth confirmed that last night Michael went 3-5 last night, with three doubles, while Little Nicky was in the dugout looking at shoes catalogs with Dawn. She’s pretty sure there were other great feats by the Sassians, but said she still needed to look at the game log to find out.

Charity begins at home: Having two female managers makes the Sass players all the more aware of issues outside the male realm. After discussing it amongst themselves, Kyle Lohse presented the marketing department and Beth and Dawn with a plan for Breast Cancer Awareness. Sunday, Mother's Day, the Sass will be wearing their home pink uniforms, and encourage all their fans to show up in pink.

"It will support both the Sass and the research into breast cancer. We think this is a great cause for fans to get behind the team and do something for the community--and the world. The faster we find a cure for this, the better we'll all be," Lohse's statement to the press read. Lohse will be in town on Thursday, partly to mow the outfield grass, and partly to get a start on the immediate publicity that needs to start.

Beth and Dawn have declared that all profits from Sunday's game will go to Breast Cancer research. The team has been working on other money-raising ventures for the charity, as well.

Disabled List non-update: There’s been no news from the Sass rehabilitation center in Nice. Julio Mateo and Rocco Baldelli were showing signs of improvement with pending returns, but there was no timeline given to when their possible returns could be. The Sass are still waiting hesitantly to find out of if Tomo Ohka would be able to work through his shoulder injury, or if it would cause surgery. Grant Balfour remains the enigma he always was as to the condition of his arm.

Beth and Dawn tried to contact the guys, but the time difference to Nice caused complications. They finally sent an e-mail asking them if they were still alive. The only response came from Grant, who wrote back, “*nod*”.

Beth has found less urgency to visit Nice lately. Until yesterday, there were allegations that this was based entirely on her boyfriend joining the line-up. Last night, Beth confirmed them.

“Yes, I love Grant. But the highest position he ever held was Bullpen Boyfriend. Boyfriend trumps that. I suppose eventually we’ll have either get a message from our physicians and trainers out there, but until then, it doesn’t matter,” Beth said.

“Although,” she added thoughtfully, “I’d kinda like to know what the Chutes and Ladders score is.”