Notes: Managers reprimanded; DL'ed

Management Issues need to be worked out
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

MINNEAPOLIS -- The owners and managers of the Here for the Sass team had a rough day on Thursday. Dawn started the day by placing herself on the DL. She reported to Nice to join the DL Boys yesterday evening. She is not injured, but instead finds her health ailing. The Sassians all sent their condolences. Dawn's boyfriends, A.J. Pierzynski and Little Nicky Punto both sent her "Get Well Soon" cards, as well as combining efforts to send her a basket of flowers and comfy flannel pajamas. Matt Guerrier sent a gift box full of things to keep her entertained, both on the plane and in Nice. Juan Encarnacion sent her a new pair of shoes.

Before she went down, Dawn was forced to make the difficult decision to reprimand Beth. Dawn had asked Beth who Barry Bonds had passed to get to #3 all-time home run hitter, and Beth had no idea.

"I don't tolerate that sort of lack of knowledge from her. I was disappointed. It was difficult, but it needed to be done," Dawn said.

It's uncertain whether the punishment will be a fine, or suspension. They are hoping that if a suspension needs to be served, it will be meted after Dawn returns from the DL. Doctors will checking Dawn out Monday to give everyone an idea of when that will be. Beth, Dawn, and the Sassians are all hoping SBGF does not get involved in this decision.

"This is so dumb," Justin Duchschererererer said, "I mean, Beth's smart, but she can't know everything. Although, I'll admit, I'm a little disappointed that she didn't know it was Willie Mays. Fourth, now fifth, for anyone keeping score at home, is Sammy Sosa. Harmon Killebrew is eighth."

Aaron Harang looked at Justin, "Dude, you're insane."

Painting project underway: Placido Polanco, the resident artist of Team Sass, noticed one thing wrong with Sass Stadium.

"The outfield walls are boring! It's like a large canvas, waiting for beautiful art work!" Polanco exclaimed. Beth and Dawn gave him permission to paint the outfield walls. He had a large mural planned out depicting great plays the Sass have made throughout their history.

"Um, this is our first season," Dawn said. Placido assured her that he could see the future talent of the Sass developing, and could imagine the great plays that would be made in years to come. For the project, Ambiorix Burgos and Edwin Encarnacion volunteered their help.

"It's TOTALLY like graffiti," Ambiorix said, "So e.e. and I were all over that! Placido is a cool guy, too, so we love that he's letting us help with this painting. He does kinda get annoyed when we start painting each other, though."

Still winning? Clubhouse Manager Rach was doing her clubhouse duties, when she looked up at the television, which was showing the Sass game on the SSN (Sass Sports Network). She was pleased to see the Sass took the lead, 5-4, over team neut. She immediately called Ghetto Cub and had a delivery of balloons and pancake cake on the way.

"This is so cool. Two days in a row, we're winning! If only we can take this momentum into the weekend," Rach said, enthusiastically.

Off-day: The Sass had another slow day, with bad weather around the nation interrupting games, meaning the Sass only had three players out in the field today, to avoid others from getting sick from playing in the cold weather. Between Adam Dunn, e.e., and Frank Catalanotto, the team went 3/12, with 2 walks, 2 RBIs, and 1 run.

The rest of the Sass team found other ways to entertain themselves. Juan Encarnacion, Carlos Guillen, Doug Mientkiewicz, and Mark Grudzielanek used the afternoon to spend extra time in the batting cages, with the assistance of hitting coach Michael Restovich. Al Newman was on hand to assist with fielding practice, which worked well. The pitchers worked on their own, as Bronson Arroyo, who flies in from Mockball Madness on days he's not pitching, was one of the the players lucky enough to play today. First base coach Augie Ojeda and third base coach Lewww Ford both put in a little bit of time helping the pitchers.

"Most of the guys are hitting well. I really would've liked to spend some time with Adam, but he was one of the guys cleared for play today, so I'll have to catch them next time," Mikey said.

Community relations: Michael Cuddyer and Little Nicky Punto went out for the evening to hang out with fans. Beth and Dawn were on hand to ensure the evening was successful.

"Well, on one hand, we learned that Little Nicky Punto wears green Speedos under his uniform. On the other hand, we learned that Little Nicky Punto wears green Speedos under his uniform," Beth said. Little Nicky informed the press later that, if he was given a pair, he'd wear pink Speedos. Rach is checking with the uniform crew to see what they can do.

"We also learned that Michael Cuddyer was a Yankee fan as a child. He will be serving a punishment for that one," Beth said. "I'm almost embarrassed to claim him as my boyfriend."