Notes: Cautious about lead

A point gained is good, but could be easily lost
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

DETROIT -- The Here for the Sass team was quite pleased Wednesday night to find they had taken the lead in this week’s competition.

“It’s only Thursday. We’ve had leads on Thursdays before only to wither away over the weekend. We’re cautiously celebrating,” Mark Grudzielanek said.

The Sass managed to tie Mmmm…Guinness in runs scored, but still trail dreadfully in RBIs. The Mmmm…Guinness team has more home runs and a better batting average, but the Sass are still leading in stolen bases, thanks to the Minnesota Twin players, and walks.

As of yet, neither team has a win or save, while the Sass have the market on holds (with one). The Mmmm…Guinness team is quick to point out that they also have a lead in strike-outs.

“Oh, that’s funny. Of their six starters, five have pitched. Of our five starters, one has pitched. We’ve got some time,” Beth said. She also admitted that if that many Mmmm…Guinness pitchers have started so far, there’s a high possibility for two starts for some guys this week, giving them the extra edge.

Another teary good-bye: The Sass had to say goodbye to their team spokesperson on Wednesday. Beth, with approval from Dawn in Nice, sent Sass pitcher Kyle Lohse down to the Sass AAA team in Vancouver. Kyle’s pitching was generally good, but too often Kyle’s evil cousin, Lyle, would lock Kyle up and pitch in his stead. After his most recent outing, where Kyle was fine for two innings before Lyle caught him on his way back from the bathroom between innings, Beth decided that Kyle must be sent away from the team.

“Lyle is a huge problem that Kyle needs to work out,” Beth said. “We’ve been making excuses and trying to help him, but ultimately, this is Kyle’s problem. We’ve been able to deal with it so far, but Lyle has started to get greedy, and has been harassing other pitchers. The entire pitching staff is not performing up to par because they know that Lyle could be around any corner. We have some evidence that he’s been attacking other pitchers.”

In the official statement, it was said Kyle would return to the team as soon as Lyle was banished. The Sassians are hoping that, with Lyle out of the picture, that Sass pitcher Carlos Silva will regain confidence and be able to be placed in the starting rotation again.

Dawn reported from Nice that Sass reliever Julio Mateo, who was on the DL due to a sore shoulder aggravated by the shaking with fear of Lyle, had stopped shaking and was looking very good in his simulated games. It’s possible he will return to the line-up on Thursday, now that an open spot has been left by Kyle’s leaving.

Kyle was unavailable for comment.

Welcome? Newest Sass pitcher Chan Ho Park had an interesting welcome to the clubhouse. He was supposed to join the team Monday, but was unable to work out the plane schedule, and didn’t actually enter the clubhouse for the first time until Wednesday.

“I walked in, and there he was, watching that movie,” Chan said. He was referring to Sass outfielder Jermaine Dye, who was watching a Jackie Chan movie.

Jermaine was the only player in the Sass clubhouse then; all the other position players were in the training room or in the batting cages. The pitchers were all in the shower room holding a water balloon fight. Jermaine, who does his own workouts at local gyms before coming to the stadium, and was waiting for Michael Restovich to come so they could watch tapes of at-bats together. In the meantime, he was watching a movie on the clubhouse television.

“Everyone thinks it was on purpose to be funny--watching Chan when Chan came in. Really, I had no idea that Beth and Dawn had signed Chan. It was pretty funny though,” Jermaine said.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder: There had long been a stand-off between Sass utility player Little Nicky Punto and Sass catcher A.J. Pierzynski over the affection of Dawn. However, recently, the two men have been seen going out after games together, coming to the stadium together, and LNP has babysat for A.J.

What started this friendship? Sass pitcher Matt Guerrier, whom holds a lesser position in Dawn’s heart, brought the two together.

“LNP and A.J. were both moping ever since Dawn went on the DL. Every report from Nice and the princess-treatment she was getting there just seemed to depress those two even more,” Matt said. “Something had to be done.”

Matt did not tell either of the two of his plan, but simply invited them both out after a game. Matt had planned with Placido Polanco to get a phone call after an hour, knowing that he could leave--if the other two wanted they could stay. He found out later that LNP and A.J. sat talking for four hours after he left.

“Well, with Dawn being gone, I felt a little lost--like something important was missing,” LNP said. “A.J. was the only guy here who could understand. We just bonded. I think my jealousy was getting in the way before. A.J.’s a pretty interesting guy. Very outspoken and brash, but that’s part of him. He wouldn’t be A.J. without it.”

When Dawn returns, will the rivalry start again?

A.J. laughed. “Well, yes. There will still be moment of jealousy when she picks one of us over the other--it happens at times, even if it’s unintentional. She’ s pretty fair. But I think it will be more of a hurt feeling than bitter jealousy. LNP’s a great guy. I think the friendship we developed will last a lifetime. Besides, when the Sass play Mockball Madness again, we’ll be totally displaced and we’ll need each other!”

Poor management: It wasn’t until Wednesday evening that the Sass realized their management problems this week. Beth had benched regular starting shortstop Carlos Guillen in favor of LNP, which was the final straw.

“We felt kinda dumb,” Sass outfielder Michael Cuddyer said, “We’re playing Mmmm…Guinness. Scott Baker pitches for Mmmm…Guinness. I know I’m Beth’s official boyfriend, but the schoolgirl crush she has on Scott Baker is insane. It’s cute, really, but she really hasn’t been thinking straight, lately.”

Beth had tried to sign with Baker in the off-season, but by the time she got to working out details of a contract, he had already signed with Mmmm…Guinness.

Looking around the pink and purple Sass clubhouse, Scott’s comment was, “I think I made the right decision.” Hearing the laughter from the water-balloon fight in the showers, he added, “Or maybe not.”

Tonight: For the second day in a row, the Sass have no starters scheduled to pitch; yesterday, they had fans filling in from the stands rather than waste the arms of their team. Today there’s a possibility of relievers Brandon Medders, Matt Guerrier, or Ambiorix Burgos pitching briefly, but it will depend on how the children from Washington Elementary perform. If the children pitch well, it’s possible that no relievers will be necessary.