Notes: Prettying up the dugout

Inspired pitcher adds touch of class
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

MINNEAPOLIS -- Here for the Sass pitchers Brad Halsey and Aaron Harang decided the Sass dugout was boring.

“It looks like every other dugout in the major leagues--except the days we have balloons,” Aaron H. said, “I decided it needed a little sprucing up. Besides, Beth and Dawn wouldn’t let me plant flowers around the pitching mound.”

Aaron H.’s favorite activity in his off-time is growing plants. His yard in his house in Minneapolis is legendary for the beautiful flowers--and Sassians who’ve been over to his place for meals say that the fresh vegetables and herbs from his garden taste better than the finest restaurant in France. Harang noticed that there was plenty of sunshine at Sass Stadium, and decided that he could put flowerpots in the dugout with flowers and herbs.

“That was the best idea yet,” said Juan Encarnacion, “This place usually stinks, but with the addition of a few large flowerpots, suddenly the place is a little more classy.”

JEn helped Harang with arranging the plants for the best aesthetic value.

Brad Halsey added his own touch, building a waterfountain.

“Originally I was going to make it so the drinking water flowed through it,” Brad said, showing his design, but eventually I decided that would be an engineering nightmare. It would need to be cleaned and sterilized daily, and, quite frankly, there was always the risk of contamination. It was better to just have it for decoration.”

The fountain is a replica of the fountains that surround Sass Stadium, where fans often wade to cool off in the hot summers.

Bring the Kids! The Sass are reminding fans that children 14 and under are eligible for half-price tickets any day of the week.

“Knothole days on Sundays are nice, but sometimes parents can’t make it to the stadium on a Sunday afternoon--it’s a long drive for some fans, there’s work in the morning, there are just too many things going on,” Dawn said.

The Sassians are very much in favor of well-behaved children attending baseball games at the stadium. There are sections set aside specifically for families with children, all with great views.

“Children can get restless and unruly at times--even the best-behaved kids will sometimes have a bad day. Having other children around can help entertain each other, and it’s less disruptive to childless fans,” Beth said.

While Sass Stadium is one of the few stadiums known for having ample toilet facilities, the family sections are special because not only do they have enough toilets, but the stalls are large enough that parents may enter with their smaller children. The Men’s bathrooms are arranged without urinals, allowing fathers to take their daughters in with them.

New to the grocery stores--Sass M&M’s: Here for the Sass and Mars, Inc. have announced that Sass Stadium will now be selling their own special mix of M&M’s. All M&M’s sold in Sass Stadium will be pink and purple mixes, the Sass colors.

“I adore the new mix,” said Kristin Benson, who does television and radio spots advertising the new snack. “I’m hoping that they’ll start selling them outside the stadium, too. I know color doesn’t make a difference in taste, but I like the colors.”

Book Published: Sass outfielder Emil Brown has spent a lot of time sitting on the bench this year, filling in for players on their off-days.

“At first, I was bored and a little antsy sitting on the bench, and then Bronson [Arroyo] and Mikey [Restovich] asked me to help watch the opposing pitchers and hitters to find any weaknesses that we could act upon. Pretty soon I always had a notebook with me in the dugout, and naturally, that led to writing poems,” Emil said.

Brown collected all the poems he’d written in the dugout, and sent them off to a publisher. The poems were immediately accepted, and Emil’s first book Sunshine on My Face will be available both at Sass Stadium and bookstores throughout Sass Territory.

Catcher in the corner: Sass Catcher A.J. Pierzynski was not available to start the game yesterday. On Saturday afternoon, he got in a fight with the opposing catcher. To punish him, Beth had him sit in the corner for a half an hour. The time was lenghthened as A.J. kept getting up to "go get a drink of water" and "check on the wrestling match." When he finally managed to sit quietly in the corner for a half-hour, Beth let him out, where he was able to return to the game for the last few innings.

"The punishment was deemed severe enough for me and there will be no more. I don't know whether A.J. intentionally instigated the fight or not, but he needs to learn that his brash personality--while loved by us--can sometimes offend the opposing players, and that can cause fights. I don't want him to stop playing with the intensity he does, but he needs to watch what he does so he can check his behavior if it starts getting out of control. I really wish it hadn't gone this far, but there was pressure from the other managers that a punishment was needed. In order to avoid Commissioner SBGF from stepping in, I had to come up with something," Beth explained.

Give-away deadline: Sass season ticket holders who did not get their plastic C.C. Sabathia spider when Team neut was in town two weeks ago are reminded that Friday is the last day to pick them up. After that, they will be available to all fans for purchase.