NOTES: Uniform Updates

New additions to 2007 Uniforms
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

MINNEAPOLIS -- With Brandon Medders being out for the year, as he joined the Pronto Pups, being run by Wee Sister, Braden Looper has graciously stepped in to help Kat with the Uniforms and Equipment. Braden admits that his skills are not quite up to the standards the team became used to with Brandon, but he assured Sassians that in time, he will learn.

Regardless, Kat and Braden set out on a redesign of this year's uniform. For the year, the team has decided to add capes to the uniform. BFB and MLB rules expressly forbid this addition for pitchers, but have conceded that they can't do anything about the position players.

"That's fine," Kat said. "Really, we just wanted capes for the fielders when they dive for balls, or base-runners sliding or diving into bases."

While Sassians and Sass fans alike noted that without Little Nicky Punto, there is significantly less diving. However, as a surprise to all, Nick showed up to model the uniform for its debut.

"These are awesome," Nick said, wistfully. "I wish I were still with the team. I hope the Sass can work out a trade like last year."

Cape Day: In honor of the new capes, while will debut next Monday when the Sass return home, the first 20,092 fans entering Sass Stadium will get their very own Sass Cape.

"I'm sad we'll be gone by then," said Mockball Madness outfielder Jacque Jones. "I want a cape!" Sass first baseman Michael Cuddyer--a former teammates of Jacque in MLB--promised to send one to Jacque.

"These are cool!" Michael said, "I can't wait to try them on the field. I think that they should really help us look more dramatic--the fans will love it."

Food: Sassians were pleased to see the apple bowl in the clubhouse, dugout, and bullpen were all full entering Sass Stadium Wednesday.

"We had a bit of trouble getting ahold of Ghetto Cub for the deliveries the first two days of the year," said Sass Secretary Laura. "But it's been straightened out, and apples should be available from now on."

As an emergency measure, Ambiorix Burgos and Jonathan Papelbon have planted apple seeds in the bullpen. Although no apples will be available for the next year or so, it's believed that within a few years, apples will be available for Sassians. Justin Duchscherererer and Jason Isringhausen reportedly are getting together to order apple trees in the bullpen area, so apples may be available as soon as June.