Notes: New commercial venture for the Sass

Keeping a foot in the business
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

MINNEAPOLIS -- The Here for the Sass announced their own brand of shoes. The effort to design comfortable and practical, but cute, shoes was the brain child of Dawn and Sass outfielder Juan Encarnacion. Dawn and JEn announced that the plan was to have shoes for every occasion, and nothing unattractive. All Sassians were invited to give ideas for comfort and design.

“I’m kinda impressed,” Beth said, “Naturally, I had to get a pair as soon as they were manufactured, and I’ve never had shoes that were so cute, and still managed to be comfortable to wear. They did a very good job.”

In a moment that amused the entire fashion industry, there are presently no Sass athletic shoes. Many assumed the first shoes to be produced would be baseball shoes. JEn has often complained about the lack of “excellent” baseball shoes.

“The designs of baseball cleats are just horrid. It’s pedestrian. There is no way we should be forced to wear those,” JEn said. “I’m working on getting design and comfort and practicality all in one shoe, but it takes time. I want them to be perfect.”

Sass Shoes will be sold in stores around the nation. They became available today, but many insiders predicted that stores would sell out quickly until production could meet demand.

Names? The Sass have a unique problem. The clubhouse has always been close, with the new additions as Sassians head to Nice, and people leaving to keep the roster at an approved size that keeps BFL Commissioner SBGF at bay. However, Beth is not known for her memory, leading to humorous moments. Yesterday afternoon, Beth needed to talk to a couple of relievers about their bullpen antics. Rheal Cormier reported this conversation was held:

“Oliver. Starts with a D...Dan, right?” Beth asked Sass reliever Darren Oliver.

“No, ma’am, it’s Darren.”

“Oh. Right, so, Dave--“

“You could call me Oliver.”

“No, no. I never do that. It seems too informal.”

Darren immediately reminded Rheal that Beth couldn’t even pronounce his name. Word in the clubhouse is that Beth will remember Darren’s first name by August 16th.

Sass Air pays for itself: Trainers have finally admitted that Sass bench first baseman Doug Mientkiewicz is not feeling better, and likely will not feel better very soon, and have placed him on the DL. He was flown to Nice immediately following the game on Monday. With that flight, Sass Accountant olbiemn informed Beth and Dawn that Sass Air had finally balanced out the costs of running the airline versus chartering or taking commercial flights. Doug reported that he was very much looking forward to challenging Grant Balfour to hold the Chutes and Ladders competition, although it’s felt that win is guaranteed.

“No one can beat him,” said pitcher Tomo Ohka, who only recently returned from Nice, “He’s just played too many games for anyone else to pull off more wins than him. It’s like a pitcher that’s pitched for 20 years will have more wins than a guy who’s only been around for 2 years. It doesn’t mean one is better than the other, it just means he had more time to get his wins. I wish Doug the best of luck, though.”

With Kristin Benson still feeling sore, and possibly missing another start, and down Chan Ho Park, Beth and Dawn chose to call up Jeremy Sowers from the Sass A Snide Kids in Sao Paulo, Brazil to replace Doug. Jeremy has introduced Sass third baseman Edwin Encarnacion and Sass reliever Ambiorix Burgos to model airplanes. The three lads are planning on combining the airplanes with the Legos they already enjoy.

Although Sass reliever Matt Guerrier is eligible to come off the DL any day now, the trainers in Nice and Minneapolis have declared that they do not want him pitching for another couple of days. His last rehab start ended with a Win for the Nice Guys, but the number of pitches thrown places him as unable to pitch for a short period.

Coming up: Beth and Dawn quite certain that they will not send a pitcher to the mound tonight. However, last night she also did not send a pitcher to the mound, but in her absence, Aaron Cook toed the rubber, pulling off a quality start. With that, they really couldn’t tell fans exactly what the future holds.