Notes: Sass Airlines starting Friday

Hoping to make money out of misery
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

MINNEAPOLIS -- The Here for the Sass front offices noticed they were often flying their private plane to and from Nice, and sometimes it seemed to be almost daily. Never ones to let opportunity pass them by, Beth and Dawn have now started a sub-venture of Here for the Sass, Inc., of airline service from Minneapolis to Nice, on a daily basis.

“With the players and front office staff often going to Nice for injuries and illnesses, and often enough the managers flying out to Nice to check on injured or ill players, it only made sense to make some money off of it. The planes usually have enough extra room for at least a couple of passengers,” Dawn said.

Sass Airlines will run a daily flight, with seating for up to ten people, depending on how much room is needed for Sassians flying to or from Nice. The plane is a luxury jet, with plenty of room to stretch the legs, and the seats fully recline for those wishing to sleep.

Those wishing to take a flight with Sass Airlines may call the Sass front office, or may book their flight online. Flights leave daily.

Apple Conspiracy: Last week, the Sass noticed something different about the eating habits of Beth and Dawn. Both managers usually have an apple for lunch, but last week they did not have any.

“BFL Commissioner SBGF banned apples,” Dawn explained, “He heard the saying “An apple a day keeps the doctor away” and felt that apples must be related to steroids and banned them.”

While SBGF would not back down from his apple ban, the rest of the BFL have decided to ignore the ban, and apples are allowed. Doctors and trainers in Nice have said there is absolutely nothing about apples that would keep doctors away.

“It’s not that we were obediently following his rules, though,” Beth said, “Dawn and I just both forgot to bring them for lunch.”

The apple ban from SBGF did come as a surprise. He’d mostly been ignoring the league in favor of feeding his ego by acting in some small theater in the east.

You did what? Beth was ready to put Sass pitcher Brad Halsey into the game Monday, when he told her he felt tired and didn’t think he was able to.

“I was befuddled,” Beth said, “I didn’t remember him pitching in a long time, so I thought he’d be anxious to get out there.”

Brad reminded Beth that he pitched five innings in the 17-inning marathon game on Saturday.

“You did what? Why don’t I remember this?” Beth asked.

Box scores proved Brad’s statement, and Rheal Cormier was sent in instead.

“Beth has no memory at all. I’m sure she remembers Saturday’s game, but who pitched and hit and played would all be a fuzzy memory to her. It is a bit more surprising she forgot Brad’s five-inning, shut-out performance towards the end of the game, though,” Dawn said, noting that she watched the game from Nice.

Tonight: After a day of limited play, the Sass will return a full team to the field tonight. However, the starting pitching staff all reported feeling a little tired after their work last night, so the have decided that Kat will make her pitching debut, with many relief pitchers ready to support her, should the umpires not give her a fair strike zone.