Notes: Cupcake Day!

Plans abound, even on the road
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

SEATTLE -- The Here for the Sass team announced that although they are not able to celebrate Cupcake Day with their fans at home, they will still celebrate. The bullpen, which will include all starting pitchers not pitching today, will have a cupcake decorating contest during the game. In the eighth inning, they will ask fans seated near the bullpen to judge the winner.

After the game, Sassians will eat their post-game spread out of cupcake wrappers, rather than plates. It’s believed that they will have mini-meatloaves baked into cupcakes. Desert, naturally, will be cupcakes, with white, chocolate, and marble available. The Sassians will decorate their own cupcakes.

“Tragically, I called and found that Martha Stewart is unavailable to teach us,” Kat said. Rumors circulated through the clubhouse that Kat actually ensured that Martha Stewart was unavailable before calling to ask.

Any Sass fans who attend today's game are invited to partake in the post-game spread. There will be games (bobbing for apples, knock over the bottles with a baseball, pin-the-pony-tail-on-Beth, etc.) for all ages. A number of Sassians have volunteered to be targets to "Throw a Cupcake", similar to pie-throwing games at fairs.

It was also announced that if more than one Sassian hits a home run, free cupcakes will be given out to all fans before the next home game. Mrs. Guillen has promised to help bake cookies for 100 random people entering the gates Friday, regardless if the Cupcake Day home run target is triggered.

“Whoa. That’s serious pressure,” outfielder Adam Dunn said. “I will attempt to do my part, but Jermaine [Dye] better have a home-run hitting bat, too!” Adam and Jermaine lead the Sassisn with 17 and 16 home runs, respectively.

Batting practice changes: Due to mismanagement of pitching by MLB, Michael Restovich has been adding extra batting practice for Sass pitchers that also pitch with MLB National League teams. With the upcoming inter-league play, the American League pitchers, particularly the starters, should be getting some batting practice, too.

“Our batting averages for our pitchers is pathetic,” Mikey said, “I mean, career batting averages under the Mendoza line? That’s disgusting. Do they think they’re DHing for the Twins, or what?”

Although career batting averages are under .200 for all Sass pitchers, there has been some positive news with both Aaron Harang and Chan Ho Park hitting over .200 (.214 and .400, respectively).

“This is a positive sign,” outfielder Juan Encarnacion said, “The pitchers work hard, but it’s nice to see them contributing to both sides of the game.”

Jamming out: Reliever Brandon Medders has often watched reliever Matt Guerrier hanging out before games, playing guitar, but revealed Monday that his fascination came because he likes to play a bit himself.

When he plans with the Arizona Diamondbacks for MLB, he pitches on the same team as Brandon Webb, who also enjoys jamming before games.

“Webby doesn’t have near the talent of Matt,” Brandon said, “It’s amazing watching Matt play--I don’t know if there’s anyone better. I mean, I guess Bronson is that good, too, but we were just a bunch of guys playing around. Matt and Bronson could definitely make it in the music world.”

Matt welcomed Brandon to join him, but Brandon demurred, citing inadequate playing ability. Matt immediately offered to give Brandon lessons, which were accepted.

DL update: The trainers and coaches in Nice have reported that outfielder Rocco Baldelli is doing ”tres bien” in his rehab assignment outings with the Nice Guys. It is quite possible that he could be off the DL as soon as next week. As per the usual, an exact date has not been set.

“I really like the Nice Guys. We’ve got a lot of great players here, and some awesome fans. During games, I’ve been hanging out with our second baseman. He’s not a great hitter, but his defense totally rocks. He’s got a fan club here for a good reason--the President of the Luis Rivas fan club, Say Rah!, is the greatest girl I’ve ever met. After games we usually all meet up and go to some café somewhere. Although sometimes we go back the Sass Rehabilitation Facility and I cook supper. I love doing that, too.”

As for the pitchers on the DL, their pictures will be posted in the Sass clubhouse so they’re still recognized when they rejoin the team, which will be after the All-Star Break, at the soonest. There is potential for Tomo Ohka or Justin Duchschererer to return before the All-Star, but not likely.

“Both of them are still unable to do the simplest rehab exercises in the gym, so they’re both resting,” Dawn said. “To avoid them becoming completely out-of-shape, Rach and I have them doing simply work around Sass Villa. They mix drinks, paint our toenails, fetch the remote, things like that. Oh, and since Rocco is gone more often now that he’s playing AA games with the Nice Guys, they’re learning to cook. Although Tomo has forbidden Justin from entering the kitchen, and Grant is only allowed to prepare vegetables so far.”

Tomo expressed gratefulness to see Rach, as now the DL Boys get cookies regularly. Although Mrs. Guillen regularly shipped cookies to Nice, the time it took to ship were not consistent, and it also meant the cookies were not fresh. Rach now bakes regularly, to supplement Mrs. Guillen’s baking.

“My cookies are great, I know, and the guys love them, but it’s still awesome that Mrs. Guillen sends us cheesecake and other treats,” Rach said.