Notes: MLB/BFL Deal Cost Sass

Sass question Commissioners bargain
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

OAKLAND -- The Here for the Sass front office (currently consisting of Beth, Temporary Clubhouse Manager KatHarriet, and team photographer Bobbi) questioned SBGF’s deal with MLB. Since many BFL players come from the MLB pool, Commissioner SBGF made a deal with MLB. MLB is allowed to take any Sass player whenever they want, often allowing a BFL to either be unavailable to the BFL team, or to perform poorly in BFL play. Here for the Sass has often fallen a victim to this, with their “bench” (guys playing for MLB) doing better than their actual team. This week, it may have cost the Sass a much-needed victory.

“We had planned on starting Brad Halsey on Sunday, but the A’s called him to pitch in relief on Saturday. Had we known we needed to move him back to relief, we would’ve pulled him off the bench and used him in relief on Saturday, which would’ve granted the Sass team one more “win” in the pitching categories, giving us a tie there and allowing us to win,” Beth said. Brad was able to come on in relief for the Sass on Sunday, and picked up a win.

The Sass have no plans to take issue with the BFL commissioner’s office, nor the MLB commissioner’s office, as not one member of the front office has any desire to talk to either commissioner. And not one member thinks she can do so without using language that’s inappropriate to use in front of the impressionable Edwin Encarnacion and Ambiorix Burgos.

Trouble, again: As happens entirely too often, a Sassian was again reprimanded for his ability to perform well in situations in which he should not. Beth did note that Brad did get in trouble pitching for the A’s, and doing well, as he caused Beth’s Starting Pitcher boyfriend Bradke, to get an ill-deserved loss.

“Oops,” Said Brad. “I totally wasn’t thinking about that. I know Beth is irked because it’s her pitching boyfriend. I’m glad she hasn’t noticed yet that I held her boyfriend [Sassian Michael Cuddyer] hitless.”

Brad will be writing “The Twins are greater than the Sass” on the clubhouse chalkboard 100 times. Neatness will count, and Sass reliever Matt Guerrier will be on-hand to critique handwriting.

Everyone needs a hobby: While the Sass team and fans noticed Beth’s lack of using starting pitching for most of last week, the pitchers themselves were bored.

“We ended up sitting around much more than we’re used to. We’re used to waiting every five days to pitch, but Beth would sit us all, and then suddenly played almost all of us this weekend,” Aaron Harang said.

While goofing off on Tuesday, Kristin Benson looked around, “Man, guys, we’ve gotta find something to do.” On Wednesday, he showed up in the clubhouse with yarn and crochet hooks, and announced, “This week, we’re going to learn to crochet.”

There was some grumbling from the starting rotation, but by Friday, when many of them actually had a chance to pitch, they really didn’t want to put down the yarn to take the field. For example, Carlos Silva spent much of his time on the mound Sunday wondering what he should make next, a new afghan or a pair of booties. On the other hand, other Sass pitchers found it an ideal way to spend their time between starts.

“It is so relaxing,” said Chan Ho Park. “It really took the pressure and stress away. In fact, on Friday when I did pitch, I was perfectly relaxed on the mound, and just found my groove like I was on a rocking chair on the front porch, rather than on the mound.”

It was suggested that the relief pitchers learned to knit. Beth has refused to allow that, however.

“Do you see how many relief pitchers we’ve had on the DL, or are currently on the DL?” she said, “I’m not giving those guys pointy objects. The last headline I want to read is Sassian injured in freak knitting accident.”

However, she has granted usual bench players Little Nicky Punto, Mark Grudzielanek, Doug Mientkiewicz, and Emil Brown permission to do cross-stitch.

Tonight: Tonight, the Sass will start pitcher Aaron Cook. Many of the regular players will be given the night off, and bench players will be given the opportunity to fill in to add their value to the team. Adam Dunn, filling in the utility role, will play the part of catcher and shortstop. As he’s never played either position before, it will be a challenge to him, but the Sass have very little choice, with so many players needing rest.

“I’m hoping that we’ll have enough players to complete the team,” Kat said, “Currently, Beth is not available to play due to a minor hamstring strain, and she’s still suffering from the cough she’s had for two weeks now.”

Beth did briefly report to the DL on Sunday, but has returned because the doctors did not want her spreading germs to Dawn, or any of the other Sassians at the rehabilitation facility.