Notes: Playing Small Ball

Morning croquet brings short results
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

MINNEAPOLIS -- Six members of the Here for the Sass team decided to hold a small croquet tournament Tuesday morning before the game. Aaron Harang, Adam Dunn, and Jon Rauch competed as The Tall Team against Little Nicky Punto, Placido Polanco and Rheal Cormier, The Short Team, in a croquet tournament before Tuesday's game. The Small Team won in outstanding fashion.

"It was totally unfair," Aaron H. said, "Those little guys are small enough that they were pushing the balls under the loops. We can't even get our feet under them."

Polanco disagreed that it was unfair. "Those guys can walk entirely across the croquet lawn with two steps. It's about sixty for me, and poor Little Nicky needs a rest after running that far."

The Tall Team bought lunch for the Small Team as their reward for winning, and have challenged them to a volleyball game as a rematch. The Small Team countered with a rematch of Basketball.

"I've always wanted to have a 6-foot and under basketball league. I'll settle for a team right now," Little Nicky said.

New Uniforms soon to debut: Equipment and Uniform Manager Kat and Brandon Medders came out of the equipment and uniform room and said they are "very close" to being finished with the new Sass uniforms. This is a much anticipated re-design of the old uniforms, which have been used since April. Fans and players are ready for a change of pace.

“It seems like we’ve been wearing these forever,” said outfielder Juan Encarnacion. “I’m looking forward to changing things up. Alas, Beth and Dawn have vetoed having six alternate home jerseys and ten alternate road jerseys. That would be totally cool to not be wearing the same ole thing every day. And so far I haven’t been able to bribe Brandon and Kat into making them anyway.”

Other Sassians were taken completely by surprise by the news.

“We’re getting new uniforms? I don’t even know what the old ones look like,” said catcher A.J. Pierzynski. “I just put on whatever is hanging in my locker. I have no idea what they look like. I doubt I’ll notice a change.”

Upon hearing that, Carlos Silva and Little Nicky were seen in a private conversation giggling, and it was concluded that a collusion was occurring.

DL Update du Jour: On Tuesday, Edwin Encarnacion was to begin his rehab assignment with the Nice Nice Guys. E.e. has been on the DL since June 7 with a sprained ankle.

Tomo Ohka, who has been on the DL since May 2 with a Partial right rotator cuff tear will join the Nice Guys on rehab starting on Saturday.

Recently: Julio Mateo gave up one run without recording an out Tuesday night. "That was not exactly my most stellar performance," Julio said, putting him in the lead for "understatement of the week." Conversely, Brad Halsey has pitched two innings this week and has taken the lead in the strike-out category for the team, which some starters are taking as a challenge. Kristin Benson, who managed to not get a single strike-out in eight innings last week, has vowed to at least get ahead of Brad.

"That's a little embarrassing. Aaron C. and Carlos S.--neither of them are strike-out guys, so it's no big deal if a reliever has more than them. I'm no where near the league of Aaron H., but I usually get my fair share of Ks. This week, I hope to actually do something productive with my time," Kristin said.

Tonight: A simultaneous double-header will be played, with Kristin pitching in one game, and Aaron in the other. The bench players, relief pitchers, and Sass Front Office will field for both games, with help from those not currently up to bat.