Notes: Playing Catcher

Announcer steps in for missing position player
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

MINNEAPOLIS -- Sass Announcer R. Johnson was so disgusted with the defense of the Sass catcher last night, he was starting to run out of words--for which his producer was grateful, as he spent most of the time beeping out Johnson's curse words. Eventually, it was pointed out to Johnson that the Sass didn't have anyone catching. This infuriated the announcer so much that abandoned his booth, donned catching gear stolen from A. Pierzynski's locker, and went on the field himself.

Unfortunately for the Sass Team, he was hit by pitches in every single at-bat that day and never scored a run, thus bringing no numerical advantage to having his play for the team.

Inspired by his performance, injured players G. Balfour, B. Looper, and R. Baldelli took turns playing first base, but all three refused to come to the plate.

R. Johnson throws a tantrum, Part III: R. Johnson threw another tantrum last night, much to the amusement of his entire team.

"How come I'm the only man on the team to get a WIN! Is it so much to ask you guys to put forth a little effort?" R. Johnson was seen screaming in the clubhouse late Thursday.

"Sweet Mary," T. Ohka responded, "I've got the same ERA as the man. I can't help it that I didn't have any run support!" T. Ohka reported later that he called Bradke and J. Santana for advice on dealing with poor offense, "Bradke broke down in tears, and Santana said that you shouldn't let such things affect you. I'm going to go home and watch the Royal Shakespeare Company's performance of Hamlet. Or maybe Twelfth Night."

J. Duchscherererer had a different response, "What is he complaining about? He's supposed to be our strike-out artist. I've got less innings than him and more strike-outs. I've even designed a computer program to show our performances. It automatically downloads our stats from mlb.com with every pitch we make." Finished with his interview, Duchscherererer pulled out his laptop and started checking out his favorite sites, like slashdot.org.

Putting the pieces together: E. Encarnacion was shocked Thursday afternoon when he noticed Sass pitcher A. Burgos snapping together Lego pieces.

"Dude, is that the Train Engine Shed?" he asked. Burgos nodded, trying to find another 1x2 for the next step in building. Encarnacion went back to his locker excitedly, digging through his pile of stuff and pulling out a box. "I have the Deluxe High Speed Train Collection! We could build a whole set-up here."

A. Pierzynski, D. Mientkiewicz, and M. Grudzielanek were seen watching the boys, asking advice for starter sets for their young son, Jimmy.

Actions speak loudly: Sass outfielder J. Dye reported that he had a strained right calf. He was a bit sheepish mentioning how the injury occurred, but later admitted he was watching Matrix: Reloaded and was trying to copy the move of one of actors. He will be evaluated Friday morning to determine whether or not he will play in his game this evening.