Notes: We're #12!

No fighting over who's #1
By Beth Sass / hereforthesass.blogspot.com

MINNEAPOLIS -- The Here for the Sass team doesn't have a single guy who's number 1, but yesterday fights broke up between A. Pierzynski and E. Encarnacion over who was number 12.

"I've never seen anything quite like it," said R. Johnson, who is the highest ranked Sass player at number 3, "Most guys will fight over who's number 1, but here are Pierz and e.e. fighting over who's number 12."

Owners Beth and Dawn did admit that they weren't paying attention to clubhouse problems when they drafted their team. "I gotta say, in drafting this team, I didn't even check for possible number conflicts," Beth said, "I'm actually rather impressed that we only have one duplicate number.

"What will be the final solution? "They're big boys. They can share," Dawn replied.

League Winner: There was cheering and shouting in the Sass clubhouse after last night's game, when the League announced that Kyle Lohse won the 2006 Narrowest and Most Sloping Shoulders in the Major Leagues. Plans are underway for a public celebration of this prestigious award.

K. Benson took great delight in harassing his fellow Sass pitcher, commenting, "It's a good thing they didn't include the Little Leagues in the voting--it would be more embarrassing for you to win that award over 6-year-old girls!"

Lohse was unfazed, "You can't take comments about being feminine too seriously when they're coming from a guy named Kristin."

Benson refused to comment, as he was afraid of ruining his lipstick.

R. Johnson has a tantrum, Part II: R. Johnson threw a tantrum for the second consecutive night. Last time, he complained that he was the only starting pitcher to have any performances to help the team win. However, with his performance yesterday, Sass pitcher T. Ohka pitched an equal number of innings as Johnson, and has the same ERA. R. Johnson is now upset that Ohka "didn't get the win" and only struck out two, rather than Johnson's three.

C. Silva laughed, "Why strike players out? That takes three pitches for one batter. I like to be back in the dugout by the time I've thrown three pitches in an inning."

Both Beth and Dawn have commented that they don't care about Silva's strike-outs.

Tonight: In a fit of rhyming poetry, tonight will bring Silva facing the Blue Jays, and Benson facing the Devil Rays. The Sass front office also announced that they will not be playing with a catcher or a first baseman tonight, just to keep things interesting. When it was pointed out to them that A. Dunn could play first base, they shrugged, noting that then they'd be short an outfielder, so it didn't really matter. "Besides," Beth noted, "It's our challenge to the other fielders to play with two vital positions unfilled."